mossbuds | TEENS IS DUMB

TEENS IS DUMB

[Things have been getting progressively more rotten since the island fiasco. Most recently, of course, was probably the worst of it that Lars has endured yet. Last month was the last time Sadie stayed at his place, and it was decidedly the least successful—and in other ways, most successful—time had with her yet.

It seemed like things were going to get better, until absolutely fucking nothing made any sense and then everything was worse than before. And now they really weren't friends—they couldn't be, objectively, is what Lars has decided is Sadie's conclusion.

In any case, work has been awful. For the first week after the blizzard, Lars could barely handle looking at Sadie; his chest constantly ached and his heart raced. His stomach was often upset. He was never someone who handled this kind of stress well, and he had no one to really talk to about what was going on—and even if he did, he would be extremely reluctant at best to share it. The result, of course, is that Lars has been extra unpleasant—he's back to unapologetic tardiness; he's extra rude with the customers; he bristles obnoxiously when Ronaldo comes around, or if he thinks he and Sadie are texting; he takes more breaks than usual, and for longer amounts of time.

And tonight, he got in a fight with his mom. She would never do anything like throw Lars out, but he kinda threw himself out until it's late enough that she won't hear him come back. He'd been so useless at home—moreso than usual, than she kind of crawled up his ass about it. And she'd also found a carton of cigarettes, which she didn't take very well. Smoking was kind of an impulsive, stupid decision and a last-ditch effort for a coping mechanism in the face of all the hurt he didn't know what to do with. Even if he kind of dug the romance of self destruction, being a stupid tryhard of a teenaged boy, he was also a little embarrassed about this new habit. It was somewhat low-key, because he knew it was stupid.

Lars taps said carton against the rock he perches on, staring with a glum lack of enthusiasm at the way the sun sets over the ocean. Beautiful, objectively speaking, but Lars can't bother to care. As music blares with obnoxious loudness into his ears from his headphones, Lars's eyes dip to his hands, which shield his lighter as he ignites his cigarette.

He could be doing anything else, but Lars feels he doesn't have anyone to spend time with. His negativity has been clashing with the vibes of Jenny & co; Dewey has a vague idea of what's going on with Lars, but they're overall taking the "healing with distance" approach with him. They aren't very close, after all. He's not really a part of their inner circle.]

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Okay.

[ she's... relieved when he doesn't escalate. not that a selfish part of her doesn't want him to: even after a month with minimal non-work contact, she still wants him. wants him to be okay, wants him to be happy, wants him to want her. but they're not at a point right now where that could ever work, and so when he doesn't reciprocate, doesn't escalate - maybe it means something good.

(or it could mean something bad, mean something terrible - she just isn't going to dwell on that for now.) ]

Hey... are you hungry? Have you eaten dinner? I'll buy you a slice of pizza if you want to get off the beach. Getting pretty chilly without the sunshine.

[ it's just a friendly offer, and it's definitely a tentative one. but maybe they can try to be friends without it being weird. wouldn't that be awesome? ]

[Whyyyy does Sadie have to do this... why...

Lars glances off to the side, furrowing his eyebrows as he seems to contemplate her offer.

The distance between them has been unbearable, and Lars has been doing a good job of inadvertently isolating himself from everyone else, prone as he is to lashing out when he's hurting. So her offer is welcome, but too welcome—Lars can tell from how his heartbeat begins to speed up. Of course he knows it's a totally platonic invite, and Sadie's just—ugh, what, concerned? Damn it—but he can't help how he reacts.

It'd probably be better to turn her down, but Lars can't think of why specifically. And he also misses Sadie... But even friendly interactions feel like a path to ruin. It sucks.

He's been so worked up he hasn't had a decent appetite. Smoking doesn't help. But.]

Yeah, it's cold. Guess I'm a little hungry.

[As if he could turn her down when he's been wanting her so bad. Lars feels embarrassingly weak for her.]

Good!

[ sadie can't help the relief and almost gratitude that tint her tone, and she tries to reel it back a little when she hears it in herself. whoops: don't seem so excited, try not to freak him out. honestly, she's growing more and more concerned about him. he really, really doesn't seem okay right now, and maybe she can't fix him, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't try to at least be there for him sometimes.

and if that time isn't "when she catches him alone at sunset smoking on the beach," she isn't sure when it would be.

her phone buzzes one final time (from her cousin this time, not ronaldo), but she still pockets it without looking at it, and nods away from the beach. ]

Lead the way? We can warm up and eat at the same time.

Yeah, alright.

[Lars would have to work harder to downplay his enthusiasm if he wasn't tired and irritated. But despite how he seems, he's not ungrateful—he stands up, brushing off his butt. He pauses mid butt-pat, looking down at Sadie in an afterthought.]

I don't wanna be like—keeping you, though...

[Lars appreciates and wants the company, but if this is happening strictly out of pity, or whatever—then that might suck, especially if as far as she's concerned, she's got better shit to do. But that's definitely his extra-sensitive (as of late) insecurities.]

Keeping me from what?

[ he brushes his off and sadie sort of glances over her own shoulder, trying to brush off any sand that may have come with her as surreptitiously as human possible. his question is sweet, though - or at least that's how she's taking it. as consideration instead of insecurity.

so she just shakes her head at him and smiles. ]

Nah, like I said - I kind of needed a break from Ronaldo, I think. [ her expression narrows then, thoughtfully and maybe a little concerned. ] --does that make me a bad friend? I'm not trying to be, just... [ and here she kind of just. waves. vaguely. and hopes that he'll understand what she's trying to convey. ]

[It's definitely insecurity...but Lars is trying to at least seem less selfish with how he expresses it. Kind of...]

Are you seriously asking me if you're a bad friend? Come on, Sadie. [Lars rolls his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets as he leads them closer to the boardwalk.] Ronaldo's just—a lot, it ain't your fault. If memory serves, even low-key stuff can be biting off more than you can chew, with that guy. Probably even for patient people.

[Ronaldo and Lars still have a lot in common.]

[ sadie just shrugs slightly, opting not to voice the fact that the two of them remind her of each other in a lot of ways, and follows him to the boardwalk. she does seem grateful for his affirmation, though, and idly she kicks at a little of the sand as they go. ]

I got him to tell me some stories from when you guys were kids.

[ because even then, her thoughts circled back to him more often than they should. ]

What!?

[Lars jumps off track a little, looking like he just got poked with a molten hot caddle-prod by Sadie.]

Don't do that! You got any idea what kinda dirt that idiot's got on me!?

[Lars slaps his hand against his face, withering comically to one side with his suspicious flexibility that enables him to be an optimized spazlord.]

Auugh, he's trying to ruin my life on purpose! Tryna make me look bad!

[Or, well. Look worse. Lars wants to GO YELL AT HIM RIGHT NOW but his need for Sadie time keeps him from doing anything crazy.]

Lars, calm down.

[ but sadie's laughing too hard to make her command sound serious, because somehow she expected him to brush it off more than anything else. she shakes her head again, pressing her hand to her mouth to stifle the sound. ]

I didn't know he had any dirt on you until right now. He mostly just talked about you two hanging out. It was sweet.

[ or, uh, would have been sweet, if ronaldo didn't dislike lars so vehemently now. ]

Sweet? [Lars groans loudly, plopping his face in his hands.] God. [He takes a deep, angry breath, then continues walking towards their destination—albeit tensely.

Getting out of his selfish, panicked tizzy, though, Lars reflects on this information for a moment—then gives Sadie a suspicious glance, and a narrowing of his eyes.]

Kinda surprised he told you that stuff at all. Far as I know, he's not really into opening up about that—after all, no one really knew about our falling out... or our—[disgust face]—friendship.

He's got motives.

His motives were me getting really bored with all of his conspiracy talk and was trying really hard to reel me back into the conversation, I think. He doesn't have motives, he's just lonely.

[ and with most of sadie's friends being so far removed from beach city, she really knows how that loneliness can feel. especially with that self-imposed distance she'd established with lars. ]

People change, you know. You can't expect Ronaldo to be exactly like the guy you knew when you were both kids.

[Lars almost wants to reply "damn right, he's a man now," but decides he doesn't wanna inject that sort of tension into this interaction right now. He just grumbles sourly.]

Of course not. Whatever. All I'm saying is he's probably pretty pleased with himself.

[After all, Lars and Sadie's friendship, as far as Lars was currently concerned, was pretty much dead. She's just reaching out to Lars right now because he was having a rough night, because she was a good person. Meanwhile, Ronaldo and Sadie were getting chummy. Maybe Ronaldo didn't specifically plan for things to go this way, but as far as Lars figures, it's working out pretty fucking spectacularly for him...]

You're too nice, Sadie.

There's no such thing as too nice, Lars, and even if there was, that wouldn't be me. You know I've got a temper.

[ people who are "too nice" don't set the mouths of the guys they like on fire.... even accidentally. but moving on. ]

I just really like people, and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone deserves a little kindness. [ she almost says "besides, someone has to balance you out, right?" but it feels wrong before she even shapes the words with her mouth. maybe it's not her right to say stuff like that right now. ]

[Lars scowls glumly, wishing he could relate to her point of view. What must it be like, living in Sadie or Steven's world? Was Lars the weird one? Did most people think like this?] Not everybody.

Anyway, having a temper doesn't make you less of a good person, y'know. That's more like—bad decisions. People've got limits, even people like you. Prolly even people like Steven.

[His own words kinda sting, though unintentionally. Sadie had run out of patience with him, but while Lars was resenting Sadie all through earlier this month, he was beginning to move past it. He was pretty sure Ronaldo had the same fate in store with her...]

I know that. I guess I just meant... people are complex. Just because I'm nice doesn't mean I'm too nice. [ or maybe she isn't entirely sure what her point was. maybe she's not sure why she asked him to come with her at all... other than the fact that she felt bad for him, and she'd missed him.

but that was enough, right? those were good enough reasons to hang with someone, weren't they?

god, would the day that she stopped overthinking everything regarding lars ever come? ]

We're here, though. Hope you know what you want on your pizza.

—Oh. Uh, oh! Yeah. Yeah, I do.

[Lars feels his stomach drop kind of weirdly when they arrive at Fish Stew Pizza. He awkwardly opens the door, squinting under the florescent lights. He'd gotten a little used to the darkness.

Thankfully, neither Jenny nor Ronaldo are there...

Pretending his nerves aren't on fire, Lars approaches the counter, leaning against it. It's sardines, jalapenos, and peppers. There's no accounting for Lars's (lack of) taste.......

Then he kinda just vaguely gestures towards Sadie, glancing off with a derisive sniff that causes Kiki to raise her eyebrow. She greets Sadie warmly, with a smile to match.]

[ sadie matches kiki's smile with mirroring warmth. she orders a small pizza of her own (she can just take the rest home to her mom, right?) with pepperoni and olives, before paying for both herself and lars - it was her promise to treat - and heading back to claim a booth. ]

This place smells so much better than the donut shop.

[ she inhales, sliding into the seat with a half smile at him. ]

At least the food is cooked here.

[Kiki takes care of the transaction and disappears to the back—but her eyes linger on Lars for a second as she goes, which makes him hunch with discomfort, eyes staring hard at the counter. It's probably innocuous, but Lars is paranoid.

Lars sits heavily across from Sadie, and now that they're somewhere—less candid, maybe, or in front of other people—Lars feels awkward.]

Yeah. Probably you're just too used to the donut smell, though. [He leans heavily on his palm, elbow on the table.] Bet Jenny and Kiki are friggin' sick of how this place smells.

[He pauses, raising his eyebrows and glancing towards Sadie.]

Oh. Uh. Thanks, by the way.

[Lars is really bad at having manners, because he was raised by crabs.]

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TEENS IS DUMB

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